Episode 15: Meatballs and Mayhem (Transcript)

I wanted to see how well this episode would go.

And I got two nat 20s, because I have two d20s.

But it only took you...

I didn't count.

A lot of times.

A lot of times.

So, how lucky is it really?

My turn.

I got a 12.

I got 12s multiple times.

Nice.

Welcome to...

Try to do it with me.

Dadventurous!

A actual play, Dungeons & Dragons, D&D, oh wait, those are the same thing.

An actual play, Dungeons & Dragons podcast, as the dad says, the whole family.

Yep, I apparently speak in a weird, slurred accent all the time.

The back.

Or a Dad & Daughter, Dungeons & Dragons podcast.

We're back.

We're back.

For another week.

We're gonna keep coming back.

You can't stop us now.

You did it to yourselves by listening to the podcast.

Yep.

Anywho, we are gonna continue on this adventure with a different version of Kea, Cat Kea, as opposed to Tabaxi Cat Kea, which is similar.

But this is just normal Cat Kea.

We're back in the show, and...

I'm just making cat noises.

And we are in a situation where...

We kind of left the last one on a bit of a cliffhanger, because you were halfway through a broken-down IKEA warehouse, scrapers all around you, wild magic storm all around you outside, and you're trying to escape.

With my favorite piece of yarn.

With your favorite piece of yarn in tow.

You started out having a beautiful day in your beautiful warehouse.

In my beautiful bedroom that just happened to be, my sleeping spot was perfectly situated in the window.

That's true.

And you went downstairs, you got a little goldfish snack, not the crunchy ones, but an actual fish.

You ate it, you took a nap, but you woke up to chaos.

The wild magic storms and scrapers.

You had to escape your way out of the bedroom showroom.

You stealthed your way past two of them.

You pounced attacked another one off of a ledge, and it fell to the ground.

You darted your way into a bathroom showroom, where you had to face off against a slightly larger toilet paper titan, as we call it.

Yeah, the TPG.

And you know that you got to get downstairs to that exit room to get out of here as all this craziness is happening.

You stand now before the doors of the cafeteria.

You know that getting into the cafeteria is your way to the escalator and to the showroom outside.

Okay, I think she'd go through the doors.

Wait, actually, cats are silly and like to play with toilet paper.

Yes, I did describe that he had toilet paper feet.

So would it be okay if I tear it off two squares and put them in my mouth with my string?

And she's taking her favorite toys with her.

You now have a string and two squares of toilet paper in your teeth.

This is my primitive version of an inventory.

There you go.

And you start making your way into the cafeteria.

Wow.

So fancy.

You push the door open and immediately you see something interesting.

You've been in this cafeteria hundreds of times.

And you push the door open and with a squelch, a moldy, gross meatball pushes out of the way with you and leaves behind a gross gravy goop, moldy goop.

A trail behind it.

And you look out into the cafeteria and there are dozens of meatballs peppering the walls, peppering the floor, the ceiling, the tables, everything in this.

There is gooey, gross, moldy meatballs everywhere.

This is your fault, by the way, because last week you said maybe there will be a meatball monster, so I have created a meatball encounter for you.

Oh no.

Wait, but the meatballs aren't moving?

No, the meatballs are meatballs that are gross and old and rotten.

I think she thinks in Catish, I suppose.

That's what we're calling it.

To herself, that like, you, you.

Just you?

Which probably she would speak it out, just say, mew.

Mew.

Now I know Cat language.

The way this room is laid out, as you come through this door, you're kind of next to where this kitchen, cafeteria area would be, and in front of you is all the tables.

So you can't see where the meatballs are coming from, but suddenly you hear a thump, and you see from this blocked off area next to you, a meatball fly out across the room and hit a window on the far side of the room with force.

Force.

With a thwack, it hits the window.

It might even crack the window a little bit.

A meatball?

A meatball.

Is it frozen?

Launched with force.

Some of them do appear to be frozen.

Oh, frozen meatballs.

My worst enemy.

And you know that the escalator is on the far side of these tables.

I think she'd take the cat way, being the cat way, is that she'd hop up onto one of the tables.

Are these arranged in rows?

Yeah.

Yeah, like booth rows.

Okay.

I think she'd take the cat way and jump up onto one of the benches of these and jump to the next one.

And this would also kind of be harder to hit her, I think, in her mind, because of gaps in the benches versus the floor and solid floor.

James crossed open areas to get between the benches.

The first jump that you make, you jump up and you hear this VVOT and you look over to where the counter top is for the cafeteria and there is a stationary scraper sitting on the counter.

Is it?

Is not the freezer, necessarily.

But what you see is this creature Cat Kea is a creature partially made out of a cash register, partially made out of napkin dispensers and cup dispensers, and partially made out of plastic cutlery.

Cutlery?

And then at the very top, A full shooter.

It has a tube running to it from a freezer that, there are two freezers, one seemed to be working and one seemed to be not.

And the tube goes up to the top of the scraper, funnels into this crazy pipe that it's got that looks basically like a mouth.

And then it focuses towards where you were.

And right as you dodge behind the first bench, you hear this loud thwack as a meatball hits the bench, a frozen meatball hits the bench and cracks it a little bit.

These are frozen.

These things, these meatballs have been frozen for 300 years.

They're really frozen.

That's right.

Probably this shouldn't work at all, but it's way funnier.

Yeah.

So you are going to try to make your way through what I like to refer to as kitchen chaos.

Or the meatball gauntlet.

Cafeteria.

Ooh, meatball gauntlet.

The meatball gauntlet.

I like that.

Because we already have coaster chaos.

Oh, that's true.

That's true.

I like the word chaos way too much.

Yeah.

Meatballs, either Isoli or Moldoli, will be flying at you as you make your way.

I don't think Isoli and Moldoli are a name, or I mean our words.

You don't know that.

Uh, no, you're right.

They're not.

Look it up in a dictionary, listeners.

But you start making your way bench to bench to bench, dodging your way through, as this stationary scraper starts launching an assault your direction.

We're going to roll initiative.

20.

Nice.

You are going to make the first dodge.

This initiative is going to be a little bit weird because this thing can't do anything other than shoot.

But basically on its turn, it's going to try to hit you.

But in the meantime, you can make your movements.

It's going to take you three rounds to get to the Esca.

Even if I dash?

Even if you dash.

I'm assuming you're dashing because you can't fight back.

I think she'd stay on the benches.

Okay, staying on the benches, you start making your dashes.

You go ahead and go first.

You dash from one bench to the next bench to the next bench.

You hear the thwack, thwack, thwack of meatballs behind you as you start dodging through.

Unfortunately, at the end of your turn, this...

Wait, my dash is 80 feet.

Oh, it's 80 feet?

Dang.

We'll say that at the end of this turn, you have to make that one last leap across a larger gap and you know it's tracking you and it knows exactly where you are.

So we are going to roll against ichiother for this moment.

We are going to do a roll-off.

You get to add your dexterity.

I get to add my...

And we shall see what happens.

16.

I got a 12.

Wow.

So you make the big leap.

So, on your next movement, you're only going to be able to move half as far.

So I'm only going to be able to move by normal speed.

Yep, so you go ahead and start your turn.

My turn!

Which, increase this to four rounds.

Because I can only do the four feet.

Yep.

She's going to keep jumping.

You peel your way out of the gross, goopy meatballs.

She'd probably, like, not bother licking it off, 22.

They seem very important.

And you make your dash move, at the end of your turn, we're doing a roll off again.

Am I dexterity?

Yep.

I did so bad.

Guess what I got?

What?

Nat 20 which is a twenty two.

I have to honor that.

Oh boy, we'll go back to three rounds.

Nice.

So this is one rod, or one round?

That was after he goes, this round too.

So you get to move your full distance with that Nat 20.

You leapt so strong, so powerful.

You cleared a bench, and the three or four meatballs went Just went boom, boom, boom, behind you, easily dodged them with that Nat 20.

Beautiful.

He is going to see where you landed, and he's going to launch another barrage at you.

Can you make a dexterity saving throw?

Ha, 21.

21, this time you were prepared.

You look up, you see the meatballs come in, and you expertly dodge, dodge, dodge, and miss all of them, so none of them land on you on your bench.

Now we're on round three.

Go ahead and make the dash.

Can I dash now?

Yep, well, yeah, you got that nat 20, so I basically negated the fact that I said four rounds.

Okay, so now I can dash 80 feet?

Mm-hmm.

So you dash, 80 feet.

You dodge, you dodge, you're jumping over benches, you clear a table at one point.

You're moving like lightning, and you hear this thing.

It goes to launch another barrage at you, but it's out of goopy meatballs.

It only has the frozen ones left.

And so it starts aiming, and it just starts firing, rapid fire.

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

It's a meatball machine gun.

It's a meatball machine gun, and we need to roll opposed again.

One last time.

21 again.

Come on, I even rolled good.

I got a 17.

It was almost net one, but.

Nice.

All right, you know this cafeteria.

You know what's going on in terms of dodging through this stuff, even though it peppers this bench with machine gun level fire.

Yeah, you easily dodge out of your way, and you make your way down to the top of the escalator.

You probably hear the continuing fire of this creature behind you, but you know you're in a safe spot.

It can't reach you anymore.

You make your way down the escalator, and normally there's a little side swing door and this glass door in front of you, right?

Yeah.

You were hoping to escape here.

You look out and you see colorful rain falling.

You see colorful lightning strikes happening.

What color is the lightning?

Multi-colored.

Oh, you're a dusting lightning.

And you see lots of creatures out there, not all scrapers, some of the little scarabs.

Little Cat Kea doesn't recognize what these are, but lots of creatures out there, lots of bad guys out front.

And so that way is unsafe to go.

You're gonna need to go towards the warehouse where the creek is.

I hate swimming.

Well, Kea does, has a cat, but I think she'd see this, kind of eyes go wide, and probably immediately like turn around, go to the warehouse.

Okay, you make your way over to the warehouse, big, big, big bay doors to get, you know, forklifts or whatnot.

And you start making your way through the racks.

You start having this clarity of calm.

It feels quiet in here.

It feels like maybe, maybe nothing's in here.

I take a look at the tree.

And you look up at the tree, and you probably see a frightened squirrel in it.

I chitter at it.

You chitter at it, instinctively.

And while you're looking up at the squirrel, and you're looking up at the tree and everything, you also hear something above the rack.

It's right above you.

And with a screeching, gear-grinding squeal, one more tiny scraper leaps down at you.

And you roll in the shape.

Is it squirrel-shaped?

Sure, it's squirrel-shaped.

It has mirrored the squirrel.

It is made of bolts and nuts.

This is the warehouse part.

This is all the parts and pieces.

Probably one of those, like a tape measure that one of the workers has.

Maybe the wheels of a crazy wheelie desk, but it's using them as hands.

And it leaps down and tries to pummel you.

Can you go ahead and roll your initiative?

I'm rolling surprisingly well for things that don't usually need to be surprisingly well.

22.

22, you definitely go first.

Can I leap up to meet it?

To the scrape?

Yeah.

To meet it in the air.

So you notice it jumping down towards you?

You leap up to meet it.

Go ahead.

Pouncing?

I see.

Does it count up?

Yeah, yeah, sure.

I see what you wanna do.

10 feet to the scrape line.

We'll say you dash up and then you go for the pounce attack.

22.

Dang, you're rolling good, yep.

Two damage, okay.

But it has to make a strength saving throw stone.

Okay, yeah, all these ones are nice and tenny for you.

Natural one.

You collide into this thing.

You flip around midair.

You do like a half barrel roll so that it's beneath you.

Barrel roll?

Haha, and you fall back down the 15 feet or so because you dash 10 up, grab it out of midair, slam it down to the ground.

I don't take damage falling from anything less than 20 feet.

You don't.

Haha.

So you fall, land and force this thing into the ground.

Go ahead and do your bite damage.

It epically failed the strength saving throw.

14.

To hit?

Yeah.

You only did one damage already though?

Three.

Three damage, so five?

Yeah.

You do a ton of damage to this thing.

It's little wheels hit the ground, it clatters, it looks pretty beat up, a bunch of bolts fly off of it.

But it's its turn now.

I'm on top of it.

You're on top of it.

It is going to just reach up, spin its little wheel on the ground, and then whack you in the forehead.

Ow.

Ha!

Ha!

What?

I got a 20.

Oh, yeah, that hits.

Wait, what's your plus, just for sake of math?

My plus is plus three.

Twenty-teen.

You got a 17.

No, no, I got a 17.

I didn't get a nat 20.

A 20.

Okay, that definitely hits.

They also do a hilariously small amount of damage.

You do take two damage.

Two damage, so now I'm at six.

Six lives left.

Six health.

Oh, boy.

Getting dangerous.

I mean, I only had nine in the first place.

I feel like I've done pretty good.

I think he's going to use his movement to wiggle out his way, because he's just not prone.

He's not grappled or anything.

So he wiggles his way out from underneath you and pops back up onto its feet.

That is now your turn.

I'm going to slash at him again.

Okay, go ahead.

19.

Geez Louise, and 19.

You literally don't need to roll the D4.

Really?

You needed one damage.

It's impossible.

Just for funny.

Two.

You do it.

Go ahead and defeat this guy.

What?

You said he was made of a tape measure?

Tape measure, bolts and nuts, and wheel pieces.

I think I use my claw.

Is this one of the metal tape measures?

I use my claw to push down the lock button on the tape measure.

Because there's this.

And then I'm going to slash.

I'm probably going to, so I use my, I swipe at his head to push down the lock button, so he's stuck like that.

And then I slash through his bolts and nuts.

I see, I see.

And a perfectly good tape measure crumples to the ground, no longer a scraper.

Okay, you defeat this guy.

You go approach the creek and the pond where you had a delicious fish snack earlier today.

And you have a narrow visual from here to where the creek comes from one side.

One side it disappears under the wall, but the other side there's a door out.

And you can see out side.

And outside, you can see these multicolored clouds, this rain of various colors, this lightning happening, but no creatures outside of this door.

I think she'd see the multicolored rain, see the multicolored lightning, and think, this is a weird storm, but I've seen storms before, and so I think she'd go outside.

Constantly avoiding the creek to not get wet.

Constantly avoiding the creek.

Because she's hydrophobic.

So, you see this clear pathway to getting outside, and you know that there's no creatures out there right now, but you can make this dash.

All you gotta do is get there.

You get outside, you're clear, you're safe, you scoop up your toilet paper, you scoop up your yarn, and as you make your way over to the creek, the squirrel that was up in that tree makes a scared, chittering noise, and makes a dash up further into the tree, and you are looking up towards the squirrel.

I'm staying away from the creek because I'm hydrophobic.

Yep, you're staying away from the creek, that's fine, because you're looking up towards the squirrel, and you see movement coming across the top of one of the racks of this warehouse.

And then you look up above you on this side, and you see more movement, and you look up, and a horde of scrapers, of crazy looking beetles, are coming out of the roof, down the walls, across the shelves, and are all looking towards you.

Suddenly, this horde comes and descends down, and you find yourself in a situation where we are gonna need to roll initiative, but not for combat.

You know...

I chitter at the squirrel angrily.

Yeah, you chitter at the squirrel angrily.

And you are gonna need to make a dash outside, as all these things starts coming through.

This is a full on chase encounter scenario.

Chase scenario.

So, what is your initiative?

17.

17.

Okay, at the top of the round first, another lightning strike outside.

Thunder rolling.

And one of the shelves, toffles from all the weight of these scrapers, starts falling down over the top of the creek towards you.

At the top of the round, we're doing scenario things as well, okay?

It falls down towards you, and you need to make a dexterity saving throw, as tables and boxes of things come and fall down this way, and start coming towards you.

18.

18, you start your dash successfully.

Boom, underneath the shelf, it hits the ground hard, covering half of your creek, half of the warehouse thing.

Is it like a dam, and it's damming the creek?

No, it's like over the top of the creek.

It's like a bridge more than anything.

I say, sorry, fishies.

In your brain.

In my, yeah, in my brain.

As it collides, a bunch of the scrapers were destroyed.

Some of the scarabs were destroyed, but just as many are over, and they start surging over towards you, it is your return.

You are not having a normal turn in this sense.

The way this is gonna work is gonna be the chasers and the runner.

Currently, the gap between you guys is about 30 feet.

Every round, we are going to roll against each other.

Whoever wins the roll gets to roll on this table that I have, and things will happen accordingly.

Whoever wins, the positive things happen to them, and the negative things happen to the other people.

So we are going to roll.

This is just like a quick, easy straight roll, yep.

And tell me what you got.

I rolled oh so badly.

I got a three.

I got a two.

Okay, so you win the first round, which means you get ahead of these people.

They don't catch up to you.

Can you please roll a D20?

Oh, just you're at the D20?

Another D20, but then tell me what you get.

15.

15.

A burst of speed, a positive effect.

You feeling this adrenaline burst in front of you, or inside of you, dig deep, and you burst your way through, widen the gap to 60 feet.

Okay.

You get way ahead.

And it is now their turn.

We equally both roll.

I did pretty good.

14.

I got a 17.

Ah.

Okay.

Interesting.

Okay.

So you notice, you hear this noise behind you.

Most of the creatures are behind you, but two of the Surge scarabs look at each other, make a weird, awful screeching noise, and they both turn into potato bug or pill bug style rollers and start rolling towards you at a higher speed.

They gain to that 30 feet mark.

So two of them are there.

Okay, your turn.

Ready to roll?

Yep.

That did terribly.

Two.

I got a one.

Ha ha ha.

Wow.

Two.

Dangerous Hazard, this is now against me.

So I'm gonna roll a dexterity save.

If those bugs fail, you get to roll damage.

They failed.

Can you please roll 2d4?

And tell me what you get.

Five damage.

Five total damage.

Okay, there's like a threshold.

So basically, those guys lost their gain on you, you are able to get back to that 62.

Basically, if two negatives happen to you, someone will catch up to you.

Okay, ready?

Another round.

Roll a dice.

You got a seven.

I also got a seven.

Do we wanna just do another roll off?

11.

Six.

Ha ha.

Ah, an 11.

Oh, that's a bummer.

I mean, it's good for both of us.

Nothing happens on an 11.

Oh.

A 10 and 11 is nothing happens.

Ah.

Okay, so now it is...

You're making this dash.

Suddenly, you, another shelf starts tumbling towards you.

What'd you get?

I forgot to do this last time.

So another shelf starts tumbling.

There's stuff supposed to be happening in the meantime, not just us rolling.

Another shelf on your left tumbles, and you notice that this is a narrow part in the creek.

You're gonna have to make a leap over the creek to get to the far side to dodge this shelf.

You see surge scarabs falling down.

Another lightning strike happens outside.

And can you quick make a dexterity saving throw?

At advantage, because you can clear the creek now.

Actually, I think you had advantage in here.

Does a 11 cut it?

So an 11, you leap over the creek, and you didn't judge correctly.

Your back half slips into the creek.

Water!

And you suddenly are wet.

I don't know.

I have disadvantage in all ability checks.

You do.

And you hate being wet.

Go ahead and make your roll.

I rolled it before.

An 11.

Okay, I got a 10.

So you win this one.

But an 11, nothing happens.

Same thing.

Now it's my turn.

Go ahead and roll.

I'm so bad at this.

19.

8.

So with a 19, I see.

Okay.

A dangerous hazard for me.

Can you please improvise what you think a dangerous hazard would be that would happen to all these, this flood of bad guys that's coming?

A dangerous hazard, ooh.

In this warehouse full of stuff, a creek and everything.

I think with a lightning strike, right outside the door, it goes...

And it makes the shelves wobble a little bit.

And so a bunch of boxes start...

Start tumbling up.

All right.

They tumble and tumble and tumble, and I need to make a failed dexterity saving throw, as I like to do, as a bunch of my dudes get crumpled underneath boxes.

Crunch, crunch.

These are heavy boxes.

They are heavy boxes.

Now we're at the top of the round.

You look outside.

You just saw this lightning strike.

It caused all these boxes to wobble and topple over, but you see another lightning strike happen, and this one hits the water of the creek.

It creates this wave of water that rushes towards you.

You're going to need to make a dexterity saving throw to leap out of the way as a tidal wave of creek water comes rushing towards you.

You're already wet, but you have disadvantage, but you had advantage, so it's a straight roll.

Well, you have disadvantage in all ability checks, not saving throws.

Oh, okay.

So I do have advantage.

You have, okay, okay.

On decks?

Yeah.

Yeah, that's right.

It's just ability checks, isn't it?

Eight.

Well, you got to roll twice.

Oh.

Eight.

Okay, well, you are blasted with this water, but I should roll for my guys cause it's neutral.

They are also blasted with the water, so neutrally.

Huh?

Is my string okay?

I think your string is okay.

I think your toilet paper is not.

I drop it.

The toilet paper is soggy, and I think the outcome of this current situation is that your toilet paper unfortunately was ruined.

Oh, no.

Because both rolled and both got hit, so it's neutral.

Okay.

But the string's fine.

The string is fine, so it takes a lot more than for the string.

And you see that you are approaching this final surge, this dash, right?

You go first.

I got a seven.

Thirteen.

Thirteen.

Something happens on a thirteen.

I like to make you do this improvisation.

This is fun.

An obstruction of some kind.

The rolling beetles are the closest to you.

They're thirty feet behind you.

Not much has happened.

Some sort of obstruction.

Not a dangerous hazard, but something gets in their way.

What is it?

Something gets in their way.

Maybe some of the boxes that got in, that fell down formed like a line.

They have to tear through them?

Yeah, they have to tear through the line of boxes.

Yeah, so you look back and you notice there was a line of boxes, and they have to get out of their rolling form to tear through them and continue rolling towards you.

They lose track back on you.

Okay, we're in the final stretches here, okay?

Before that happens, you hear this noise from the side.

There's a room on the side of this warehouse side that bursts open.

And as it bursts open, more of these surge scarabs pile out closer to you.

Can you go ahead and make a quick perception check for me?

Okay, so it evens out because it had advantage.

Okay, that is a 16.

16?

You notice, interestingly, and maybe something's happening to you on the inside.

The closer you get to the storm, you feel like an awareness heightening.

You feel like you're starting to think a little bit differently than normal, right?

And you feel this pull, you feel this weird sensation in your chest that Cat Kea has never experienced before, but Rummager Kea has.

And this room, as it bursts open, there's a bright, light lamp in this room pushing out this surge, this feeling towards you, this pull towards you that you recognize.

And as you recognize that, you start feeling differently.

The chittering at the squirrel turns in in your brain to angry words, words that you could speak to him.

You kind of look down and you start feeling a little bit bigger, almost like your feet aren't working correctly.

You are starting to feel the strange sensation the closer you get to the storm.

You saw the lamp, but to you in this moment, it doesn't mean anything.

You are going to make this final dash.

Your thoughts start getting weird and cloudy, and you start feeling smarter in a way.

But your body feels awkward.

I think feeling the smarter thing, I think she'd still just like, okay, something weird is going on, but I want to get out of this.

Okay, so you make your final dash.

Let's go ahead and roll.

18.

I got a four.

Ooh, an 18.

We haven't rolled.

Or no, we just rolled an 18.

No, I rolled a 13.

Oh, you're right.

You're right.

I'm sorry.

Okay, cool.

The water, it just says that something happens to surge you forward.

The water hit the pond and hit the back wall, and like a wave pool, starts coming back your direction, forcing towards you.

The scrapers foolishly dodge out of the way, but you, in this sense, it actually helps you and gives you a speed boost forward as you surf the wave forward.

Well, your angry wet body can.

And you surge towards the doorway.

One last roll from them.

Please roll one more time.

I got a nat 1.

Six.

A six for you.

How convenient for the story and for the moment.

Six is called a third party.

Someone else appears to affect the chase.

Guess what was about to happen anyway.

I knew what was going to happen.

You feel this wave forces you outside.

As you get outside the doors, you have this moment of freedom, and one last lightning strike happens, and your body starts feeling weird, and you start going from meowing in fear to saying, help, help.

And you feel taller, you feel different, your body has changed, and all of a sudden you open your eyes and you look up, and staring down from above you is a tall, older, tortle man, covered in gear.

Well, younger.

Yeah, yeah, he's still pretty old.

This is only seven years ago.

He's still pretty old.

Covered in gear, got a quarterstaff in his hands, and he's just got goggles on his head.

He's decked out in crazy looking gear.

You've never seen anything like this before.

And you look up to him, and you say...

First of all, is the string still in my mouth?

The string is still in your mouth.

And you're feeling bizarre.

You feel large, and you feel like your legs aren't working the same.

And you can't even...

You take this moment, you're starting to forget what was even happening before.

You're just out in the storm now, and this guy looks down at you, and he erects basically a fancy umbrella above your head that blocks out the rain.

And what do you say to your first visage of Gunther?

I think she would say, I'm being funny.

I think she would say, What is that thing over my head?

And he would chuckle, and he would say, It's called a Dumbrella, I think.

I'm not quite sure.

Here you go.

Why don't you hold this?

And he hands it down to you, and he goes, I'll explain everything in a moment.

And he hands you the umbrella.

I think she'd try to paw at it, not really realizing how her hands work.

And it falls and lands on top of you enough that it's blocking out the rain, and then you turn and you look as Gunther, older man, sure, steps up to the hoard of scrapers and surge scarabs and just starts going to town on these little things.

Just tearing them apart, pulling out gadgets, just beating them up.

Gunther was quite the rummager.

And he just like very, very quickly starts making quick work of all these creatures.

And you can see afterwards, it's taken its toll.

He gets down on one knee, takes a lot of a big breath.

He's definitely older.

Yeah.

And he comes over to you, and he looks up at the sky, and the sky is starting to clear at about the same moment.

And he reaches down a hand to offer you to be lifted up.

Uh, I got at it.

You got at it?

And he chuckles, and he goes, oh, it's fine.

Now, stand up with me.

Come on now.

And he helps you up to your feet, and they're very wobbly and weird.

And he goes, my name is Gunther.

You look like you don't know what's going on.

No, I don't.

And he goes, well, the first thing you'll need is a name.

And so you're standing outside of this warehouse, and you look over towards the front of the building, and sitting up above this warehouse that had been your home for so long, this peaceful place, are three letters, K-E-A.

And then the I has crumpled down to the ground.

Uh, I say, what about that?

And he looks up there and he goes, Huh, Kea, what a beautiful name.

It's where you came from.

And he pats you on the head, and Gunther goes, Oh yeah, I'm like a five-year-old kid.

Yeah, you're a tiny little five-year-old kid.

He pats you on your head and he says, Now, come with me and I will explain everything, and I'm going to take you to a very cool place called Maps Edge.

I take the string out of my mouth and hold it.

He notices that and he goes here, and he takes the string, and he ties it around your hand and a little bracelet.

Which we can assume that Kea still has to this day.

And he leads you off towards Maps Edge, and at the very last moment, you look up at him, kind of unsure what to expect, and he gives you a big old smile, and he says, Welcome to elsewhere, Kea.

And it fades away.

Current day, Kea.

Pain in your body.

Oh, we're going cinematic here.

Yep, because we're almost at the end.

Pain in your body.

Puncture marks all over.

You feel these claw marks, these teeth marks, everything in your body.

Your eyes still closed, but you can just feel sore and stiff.

And you come out of this flashback, and you slowly open your eyes.

And standing above you is an orc.

Orc?

You haven't seen much of orcs before.

Tall, green skin, tusks coming out of the bottom of their mouth.

Wearing what I would liken to, say, almost like a sailor outfit or a pirate outfit, right?

The big overcoat, the big cross bandolier, a hat on their head.

An orc pirate.

And you look up at her, and she goes, Hey kid, how you doing?

And you look up at her, shake your head, and she reaches down, smacks you on the face a little bit, and she goes, Name's Barrel, I think you were waiting for me.

And she picks you up.

Yeah, she goes, Hi.

She says, You're still wounded, you're still injured.

Don't worry about it.

I've taken you somewhere safe.

And she picks you up to kind of support you, and you look up out over the rail.

You were not on the water.

And you looked like you were on a ship.

She was standing there above you.

You looked like you were on the deck of the ship.

And as you look out and look over in the distance, you find that you are in the air.

And you are in a hot air balloon ship.

And you look back and you can see the fading visage of the IKEA warehouse retail ruins behind you.

As Beryl and you start sailing off in the distance towards the east.

I say, wait, where's Flipit?

And you look and Flipit, still knocked out, still unconscious, covered in bites, there on the deck as well.

She goes, don't worry, I got you both.

But we got to get to the closest town, and we got to get you some meds, and then we'll figure out what happened to Ma.

She goes, I'm taking you to Briarport.

And you guys start sailing off into the sunset as this, on board this super cool airship.

And that's where we're going to end this week's episode.

Cinematic flashback episode.

Hopefully you guys enjoyed Cat Kea, the chase.

The chase.

Did you have a good time?

Yes.

Good.

First words are hard.

But that's the end of the episode.

Thanks again for listening to the Dadventurous podcast.

If you want to find us on social media, we got a bunch of them out there.

We're releasing stuff on YouTube, and we're out there to be found.

Check us out.

You will find us wherever you get your podcasts.

That's true.

Leave us a review.

Leave us a comment.

We like that.

Star rating.

I don't really know.

You're not a restaurant, but...

If we were a restaurant, I think we would get five stars.

Based off of your judgment?

Based off of my judgment.

Alright, thank you all for listening, and we'll see you next week on...

Dadventurous!